I'm a 21 year old college senior planning on going to medical school-meaning I'm a science nerd and lover of all things geek. I started this blog as a way of keeping acute history of my interests and who I am.
If I had a band, I would have us named Something Geeky like “ATP Syntheses.”
So all of our fan girls would be raging -but educated
Ever try and take a selfie and give up?
I havent read the books so bleh.. whatever
but I just got the portrayal that dying her hair would seem like too superficial for Katniss to consider..
It kept pulling me out of the illusion that I was watching Katniss at points.
I’m in college so I feel that its only natural that I second guess how strong I am. I’m surrounded by the next generation of teachers, physicists, engineers, lawyers, and doctors (of which I hope to be one day).
Some people are either really good at faking a strong academic prowess or they are really just that good. Its scary sometimes how people from all over the country have gathered into a classroom and among us are people who can read an article and then write the most articulate, extrapolated ideas and concepts that I would have never saw. Some look at a board full of calculus and symbols and greek and everything just reads like a poem to them. Some people see organic chemistry and the movement of electrons are an orchestrated dance that makes complete sense to them within seconds.
Whereas I, in the latter two cases would be scrambling to take the best notes possible so a tutor can help me understand what mental abuse my frontal cortex just took for 50minutes.
Sometimes out of pride, I like to think that as a premed undergrad my education now is tougher in the sense that this degree is almost a cover, and the real reason I’m here is to test myself and prove to a board that I can withstand the rigor of medical education. I won’t “use” my undergrad degree to get a job, and possibly not use it at all. But that just pride, which is kind of ironic because its this building myself up through education, this life’s pursuit that is my Achilles Heel. We all have them. For women who desperately envision a happy family, its a question of will they find a good husband one day? Do they have what it takes to make their dream a reality. They examples are endless.
I wrestle with a whisper in the back of my head, “Simon, you don’t have it. You’re not nearly as naturally bright as some of these people.”
But this insecurity is a lie based on a truth, which are always the best lies.
While it is in fact good to gauge your aptitude and become a self-aware individual, and its true, my IQ is not the highest around these parts but I tend to accompany that with not giving myself enough credit for what I’ve already accomplished. Hell, I work in a damn biochemistry lab and do science well allll the time. I am just as competitive and just as strong as my peers!
I’ve treasured knowledge and intellect my whole life, its what my dreams circulate around through an outlet of medicine, and sometimes I have to struggle with the fallout, that what I so badly want is JUUUST out of reach.
What I look like when I’ve given up on a lecture.